Setting and maintaining boundaries—especially saying NO—can be a profound and courageous act of self-respect, particularly for those whose boundaries were shattered during childhood. For adult survivors of child sexual abuse, the decision to refrain from relationships based solely on physical intimacy is more than just a choice; it’s an empowering declaration of self-worth and a reclaiming of autonomy. This boundary, deeply rooted in personal values, unlocks the door to a transformative experience: UnBound Freedom.
The Courage to Define Boundaries
Imagine a child whose every “No” is met with force, whose boundaries are consistently ignored or violated. That child might grow into an adult who feels powerless, uncertain of their own worth. This was my reality—decades of severe sexual abuse and violence left me feeling like my voice didn’t matter. But at nearly 60 years of age, I found the courage to say NO. I decided that I deserved more, that I deserved to be respected, valued, and safe. This one decision was like setting a compass that pointed me toward a path of becoming UnBound.
What about you? Are there moments from your past where your boundaries were dismissed or overridden? How did that make you feel, and how have those experiences shaped the way you view your own worth today?
Reclaiming power by setting a boundary is not just about overcoming fear—it’s about realigning with what truly matters. It’s about choosing safety, respect, and love for oneself, and living Deliberately UnBound, free from the chains of past trauma.
The Liberating Power of Saying “No“
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that just didn’t feel right, but you stayed because you thought it was expected of you? Society often glorifies physical connection as the cornerstone of romantic relationships, but what if that’s not what you truly need? What if saying NO to a relationship that doesn’t align with your values is the key to unlocking your self-respect?
For me, saying NO was like breaking free from an invisible prison. It was a powerful affirmation that my worth wasn’t tied to anyone else’s expectations. It was about recognizing my needs and having the strength to demand what I deserved—trust, respect, and genuine connection.
Think about a time when you said YES to something that didn’t align with your values. How did it make you feel? Now imagine the relief and freedom that could come from saying NO instead.
When you set a boundary, you’re not just rejecting something that doesn’t serve you; you’re affirming what you truly desire—a relationship built on trust and mutual respect. In this way, setting boundaries becomes an act of self-liberation, a powerful step toward living a life that reflects your true self.
The Experience of UnBound Freedom
Once you’ve set that boundary and held firm to it, something amazing happens—UnBound Freedom begins to emerge. It’s a feeling of being unchained from the past, free from the pressures and expectations that once weighed you down. The more you acknowledge and accept your truths, the more you trust yourself to let go of the idea that you must give up your authentic self to serve the needs of others. This acceptance encourages a deep sense of self-trust, empowering you to live in alignment with your values and desires.
For me, UnBound Freedom is the ability to engage in relationships that truly nurture my soul, relationships where I can be fully myself. It’s about living a life that honors the healing journey I’ve undertaken. It’s the joy of pursuing connections that align with who I am, not who others expect me to be.
If you’re a survivor of child sexual abuse, imagine what it would be like to reclaim your power fully. What would it feel like to return to the self that was once lost, to define your identity on your own terms? UnBound Freedom is that feeling—it’s the freedom to choose life-affirming relationships and to live in alignment with your values.
Living Deliberately UnBound
The journey toward UnBound Living is deliberate and rewarding, though not without its challenges. For adult survivors of child sexual abuse, choosing not to develop relationships based solely on physical intimacy is a powerful affirmation of autonomy and self-worth. It’s a conscious decision to live in alignment with one’s values, to choose resilience and strength over fear and submission.
As you think about your own journey, ask yourself: What boundaries do you need to set to honor your values? What would it look like to live Deliberately UnBound, free to live a life that is authentically your own?
Ultimately, the UnBound Freedom that comes from holding firm to such a boundary is a profound gift—a gift of self-respect, self-love, and the freedom to live a life that is truly yours.