“I don’t share my story to influence, but to ignite inspiration. My journey embodies UnBound Living – a testament to breaking free from self-doubt and the binds of trauma. My intent is to spark your belief in the boundless power within.” — Sher Unbound
Believing deeply in your power, with all your heart and soul, asks you to lean into your ability to acknowledge and accept your worth, leading to appreciation and, ultimately, self-trust.
The Journey of Trust
Truthfully, I bought into all the “shoulds” of social order in Western culture, and now I’m faced with shifting the belief that independence means total self-sufficiency. I keep thinking, ” I didn’t ask for this”, only to find myself holding conflicting emotions of guilt and grace.
Also true: on this journey of trauma recovery, one of the most profound lessons I have learned is the importance of trusting myself enough to ask for help.
In a culture that often glorifies self-sufficiency and individual achievement, admitting that we need support can feel like a weakness—a trait no survivor wants anything to do with. However, recognizing our limitations and seeking assistance is not only a sign of strength but also an important step in breaking the false belief that we must solve all our problems on our own.
The Fallacy of Total Self-Reliance
From a young age, many of us are taught the value of independence, either through appropriate parenting or as a response to abuse. While being self-reliant is a necessary and admirable trait, the interpretation of handling every challenge alone is flawed thinking. This misconception of total self-reliance usually leads to feelings of isolation, stress, and even failure and shame when we inevitably encounter situations beyond our capacity.
One of the most pervasive false beliefs is that needing help signifies failure or inadequacy. I was raised with the belief that self-sufficiency is what adults are about. Those who can help themselves are the survivors, the champions, and the “favored.” This belief created a vicious cycle where I hesitated to ask for assistance, leading to a life lived with frustration and unnecessary shame.
The Strength in Vulnerability
Asking for help requires a level of self-awareness and courage that is often underestimated. It involves acknowledging our vulnerabilities and accepting that we do not have all the answers. This act of vulnerability can create deeper connections with others, as it invites the empathy and support we *are* worthy of receiving. By showing our true selves, we open the door to genuine relationships built on aligned values, trust, mutual aid, humility, and unconditional acceptance.
Building Resilience Through Support
Resilience is not about withstanding every challenge alone but about bouncing back and adapting through the support systems we build around us. When we trust ourselves enough to ask for help, we build a network of resources that can provide guidance, encouragement, and practical solutions. From personal experience, I can attest that finding a solution or resolution to a present problem isn’t easy, or it may not come at all when you are at your highest stress level.
Five Steps to Trusting Yourself to Ask for Help
Learning to trust yourself enough to ask for help is an ongoing process, so here are five practical steps I’ve used to ease into asking for help:
Awareness of the Root Problem: Understand the underlying issues that make you feel overwhelmed or stuck.
Acknowledge Your Needs: Recognize and accept that you need help.
Identify Your Supports: Determine who in your circle can provide the support you need. This could be friends, family, colleagues, or professionals.
Communicate the Situation Clearly: When asking for help, be clear about what you need—whether it’s advice, a listening ear, or practical assistance.
Accept (Be Open) to Suggestions/Resolutions: Be receptive to the help offered and the solutions proposed.
Conclusion
Trusting yourself to ask for help is a profound act of self-respect and wisdom. It acknowledges our humanity and interconnectedness. By dispelling the myth of total self-reliance, we pave the way for a healthier, more resilient, and more compassionate society. By asking for help, we break free from the constraints of self-doubt and societal expectations, embracing a life of true UnBound freedom and limitless potential.