“Can, Will, Yet.”
“I CAN change my perceptions and beliefs and WILL trust the process of creating that difference, even if I’m not there YET.”
Speaking for myself, limiting beliefs once set up unrealistic expectations—both of myself and others—leading to a cycle of disappointment when outcomes didn’t match what I imagined. Addressing these beliefs allowed me to set healthier expectations, moving toward becoming UnBound from self-imposed limitations.
When we think about changing our lives, it’s common to focus on external factors—jobs, relationships, health, habits. But true change starts from within, with the beliefs that shape our actions, expectations, and self-image. Limiting beliefs—those deeply ingrained ideas that tell us who we are and what we’re capable of—often create a cycle of disappointment by setting up unrealistic expectations. For lasting change, it’s essential to shift these beliefs, creating a foundation that supports growth and fulfillment. However, how can we change what we’re not *aware* of?
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Identifying Limiting Beliefs
First, it’s necessary to understand where these beliefs begin. Limiting beliefs often stem from past experiences, family dynamics, or societal conditioning. Here are a few I once held:
– “They won’t accept me if they see the real me.”
– “I’ll never be good enough.”
– “Others will let me down, so I have to do everything myself.”
Such beliefs impact our health, careers, and relationships, creating cycles of self-doubt and insecurity. For instance, if we believe, “I am responsible for others’ happiness,” we set ourselves up for disappointment when reality doesn’t align with our expectations, leading to unhealthy behaviors, arguments, or resentment. Each setback feels like proof that we’re not good enough—especially if our self-talk echoes this disappointment.
People’s reactions are beyond our control, yet clinging to beliefs like “Others should understand my needs without me asking” leads to frustration when loved ones can’t read our minds. These unrealistic expectations reinforce limiting beliefs, creating a barrier to taking chances or pursuing opportunities. After enough disappointments, it’s easy to justify avoiding situations that might challenge these beliefs, keeping us “bound” by them.
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Breaking Free: Shifting Beliefs to Support Change
Changing limiting beliefs doesn’t happen overnight, but with intention and gradual steps, it’s possible to think, believe, and feel differently. Here are the fundamental steps to becoming UnBound that I’ve applied to initiate this shift:
1. Awareness of Limiting Beliefs: Start by recognizing beliefs that may hold you back. Journaling can be powerful for self-discovery, allowing you to identify recurring thoughts that don’t align with who you are or where you want to go. For example, if you notice, “I’m not good enough to succeed,” take a closer look at it to determine if it truly defines you.
2. Acknowledgement and Acceptance: Acknowledge these beliefs without judgment. See them for what they are—thoughts shaped by past experiences. Accepting that you feel this way empowers you to move beyond it. For example, acknowledge a fear of failure as a part of your journey, not a permanent fixture.
3. Application and Adjusting Expectations: Use your awareness to shift toward a more supportive perspective. Recognize that outcomes aren’t fully in your control, especially regarding others’ reactions or life’s unpredictability. Set intentions that prioritize progress over perfection, allowing you to build resilience against disappointment.
4. Take Action with Self-Compassion: Action rooted in compassion creates the gentleness needed for lasting change. Speak to yourself as you would a friend, especially when setbacks occur. Remember, changing beliefs is a process, and mistakes are learning opportunities. Self-compassion softens the impact of disappointment and nurtures growth.
5. Appreciate Every Step Toward New Beliefs: Acknowledge each step, however small, as a win. Celebrating your progress builds confidence and reinforces your new belief system. Each success unbinds you from old limiting beliefs and brings you closer to a mindset of freedom and resilience.
Incorporating the five cornerstones of UnBound Living—Awareness, Acknowledgement, Application, Action, and Appreciation—offers a holistic, empowered approach to changing limiting beliefs and reshaping responses to disappointment.
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Achieving Through Consistency
Shifting beliefs to make a real difference in your life is a gradual process that requires consistency and patience. It’s easy to fall back into old patterns, but with time and persistence, new beliefs take root. Remember, beliefs shape actions, and actions create change. As you transform your beliefs, your life will naturally follow.
True change begins by examining the beliefs that drive our expectations and decisions. By identifying and challenging limiting beliefs, we can set healthier expectations for ourselves and others. This shift allows us to move beyond cycles of disappointment and self-doubt, creating space for growth, resilience, and a life aligned with our values.
My message is this: Take the time to question those old beliefs. Let go of unrealistic expectations that no longer serve you. With each small shift, you’ll be building a foundation for living deliberately UnBound.