Inner safety is crucial for trauma survivors.
Okay, that’s good to know; however, simply knowing that inner safety is crucial doesn’t tell me enough, especially for someone living in the victim mindset (as I was about 2 years ago). I struggled with understanding the victim mindset (it’s difficult to see when you are in it) and the basics of inner safety. At the time, I believed I had worked through enough self-discovery and inner work to pull me out of the symptoms of multiple traumatic experiences; however, I consistently felt unsafe, experiencing numerous triggers, feeling the need to justify every word, thought, feeling, and belief. At one point, I imagined inner safety was something internal that I might be missing.
“The hardest thing you’ll ever do is face yourself.” – Sherri M. Day
I’d like to share with you my understanding of inner safety by asking and answering the following questions that may form a picture of inner safety.
- What is inner safety?
- Why is inner safety important?
- How do I know I have inner safety?
- Will this make a difference in my recovery?
- What can I do to maintain inner safety?
Understanding Inner Safety:
Inner safety refers to the emotional and psychological state where individuals feel secure within themselves. It involves creating a nurturing environment that supports stability and trust in one’s own thoughts and emotions—feeling safe from emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, or other harm.
Translation: It’s feeling confident that no harm is coming to you at the moment.
I am no stranger to the issues resulting from a lack of inner safety. My life was a series of excessive triggers, feeling the need to justify myself, mistrusting my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs; overall, my experience with life was less than satisfactory (an understatement). Not knowing what inner safety was, I eventually developed unhealthy coping skills to fill the space where inner safety would have been. I was completely unaware that my symptoms of lacking safety, such as agoraphobia, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and prescription drug addiction, were directly connected to the false feelings and beliefs I held at that time: I am not enough, nor will I ever be.
The Necessity of Inner Safety:
You may be forming an answer as to why inner safety is important for trauma survivors (it is for everyone). It serves as a foundation for deliberate living—or, as I call it, Living Deliberately UnBound. It empowers individuals to navigate triggers, process emotions, and rebuild a sense of control over their lives. Without inner safety, the journey toward trauma recovery may be unnecessarily extended, as it was for me, creating a difficult path that has caused some to leave their recovery walk multiple times, only to restart their journey a little further behind than when they first began.
We see the results of recidivism in many 12-step programs, rehabilitation and treatment centers, our justice system, and psychiatric facilities. I often wonder where many survivors would be had they known from the start that inner safety goes hand in hand with self-awareness.
Recognizing Feelings of Unsafety and Safety:
Awareness of one’s emotional state is fundamental to developing inner safety, hence, “It all begins with Awareness.” – Syl Sabastian.
You may be aware that you dissociate or detach, or you’ve caught yourself in moments of questioning your values, intent, every choice, and seek constant validation from external sources. These are all symptoms of lacking inner safety.
Conversely, when we feel safe, we can ground ourselves, are aware of what our triggers are (most of the time), and can prepare for such. We are firm in our values, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, and if not, we have the ability to use reflective thinking skills, sit with the uncertainty, and allow it to pass without much notice or stress while we provide self-validation.
The Role of Awareness in Inner Safety:
“Understanding the past allows me to live in the present.” – Sherri M. Day
Cultivating self-awareness is a key component of building internal safety. Did you catch the word cultivate? Self-awareness cannot be taught or bought, but we can develop and explore self-awareness through mindfulness activities such as breathwork, meditation, journaling, yoga, walking, and more. Self-awareness helps us recognize and understand our emotions that many survivors have held back. Additionally, learning to understand our emotions without judgment aids in supporting the development of our inner safety.
To establish inner safety, it is imperative that we understand our past. When we understand our past, the more self-aware we become in the present. All this being said, how can we maintain or protect our inner safety? There are a variety of strategies to try until you find those that fit you best. Here are a few I have used successfully:
- Grounding Techniques to anchor me in the present moment such as deep breathing, sensory grounding, visualization, and journaling help with focus and stability.
- Creativity emerges as a powerful tool that weaves together resilience, empowerment, and self-awareness into forms of self-expression. I have used a number of art forms to ground and establish my baseline of inner safety.
- Building a Supportive Network assists with developing a sense of external safety, which contributes to my internal safety. I use discernment with choosing those I invite to my table.
- Self-Compassion is developed through mindful self-care. I learned to embrace activities that bring joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfillment. It’s also important that I recognize and challenge self-critical thoughts, using perspective shifting to find alternate views of those thoughts.
Internal safety is a dynamic and essential aspect of the healing process for trauma survivors. By understanding its significance, recognizing present emotional states, and applying practical strategies, you can nurture and maintain a strong foundation for your journey towards recovery and resilience, and pursue a life of Living Deliberately UnBound.
Reader Engagement Questions:
- How has lack of inner safety manifested in your life, and what strategies have helped you overcome it?
- Can you share an experience where cultivating self-awareness played a crucial role in establishing inner safety?
- In what ways do you practice self-compassion and mindful self-care to maintain your internal safety?